Fret not…

As my closest friends already know, my biggest spiritual struggle is with worry. An old friend back home in MI used to regularly quote the words “fret not” at me…unfortunately, it’s still a major struggle for me.

My husband is struggling to recover from major spinal surgery, and instead of concentrating on his recovery is having to spend much time on the phone with both the surgeon’s office and the administrator of his medical leave. The surgeon wants him to be recovered more before he goes back to work (his incision isn’t even healed shut yet, and it’s only been one month, today, since his surgery), and the administrating company at this point has only agreed to extend his paid leave through tomorrow. So, I am worried primarily about his recovery, because if they make him go back too soon, I don’t believe he will completely recover, making the surgery a waste. I hate bureaucracy so very, very much…

We’ve been trying ever since we moved here to NM to find out how to transfer our guardianship of our adult, developmentally disabled son to a judge here. I made a call this morning to an organization I was referred to by a lady I met at a Scrapbooking day, but the person I need to speak to is out of the office until next week, so I left a voice mail with our phone numbers, and information about what we need. Hoping they can help, worrying, because we are now running out of time to get this done within the timeframe the original judge gave us.

I miss my best friend. I haven’t seen her since May, when my kids and I visited her for a few days before we left MI, and had three birthday parties in three days, for my twins and two of her kids. I miss getting to spend time with my best friend. I know it will never again be like it was, being able to see each other fairly often, even though we lived 2 1/2 hours apart. Now, it’s about 1700 miles, and several states. I miss having someone to talk with, who understands my life. I miss my other friends, the ones who were there to get together with me for just fun get togethers, even if just to go out for girl’s time… I’m lonely, and I feel like maybe I’m just being selfish.

I miss taking piano lessons, but I had to leave my piano behind when we moved, and we haven’t been able to replace it. I even miss practicing!

I am weary.

Lately, I’ve been very stressed and anxious, and am trying to give it to the Lord, but I have such a hard time leaving it with Him!

“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” Psalm 37:7

This is SO hard for me, the whole “fret not” thing! I do not do well with the whole “just in time delivery” concept, it makes me very anxious. I guess the only thing I can do is keep trying, but it’s just so hard…