My husband and I have been trying to come up with a chore system for our kids that would be divided up in a fair way. We have one son who is so OCD that he does more cleaning than anyone I know! We also have one son who is Higher functioning than his brothers, so he ends up doing things they can’t really do, like, if I am ill, he will cook supper, among other things. We hadn’t quite gotten around to creating our own system yet when I was offered the chance to review The Everyday Family Chore System ( created by Vicki Bentley) from Everyday Homemaking!
We have four boys, and had planned to adapt this to have them all doing an equitable amount of the work involved in keeping the home going, but one has since been admitted into a residential treatment facility and will be away for a while. So we are in the process of revamping it for the three boys who are here.
As you can see from the table of contents, this is not just a “chore chart. ” And, in reading her book, you’ll discover that she has created this from a definite Christian perspective.
Table of Contents
Introduction ………………………………………………. 5
Who is this woman, and why is she telling me this?
Part One: Laying a Foundation………………………. 7
Child training is the first step to
successful home management training.
Part Two: Implementing the Plan ………………….. 13
Assign responsibilities
Teach them HOW to work
Motivate them to succeed
Part Three: The Actual Chore System …………….. 39
Everyday Family Chore System
How-to-do-it cards
Note: This system is reproducible for family use by the original purchaser only.
Suggested Resources …………………………………… 85
I like that with the benefit of her many years of parenting and fostering, the author has come up with significantly more than just a “chore chart.” In “Laying a Foundation,” she points out that we (the parents) are also God’s children, and therefore, we should be modeling in our relationship to Him the same things we would like our children to display toward us. As parents, we should model:
- Submit to authority without rebellion.
- Apologize if needed.
- Do everything without complaining.
- Work on skills and character (theirs AND ours).
- Work ourselves out of a job!
The author points out that although this is not a “child training” book, there are some basic principles which we (the parents) must understand in order to use them as a foundation on which to build the how-to section of her book:
- Have realistic and age-appropriate expectations.
- Set up (and maintain) rules or standards.
- Have a working knowledge of family discipline.
- Tie our hearts to their hearts.
In part two, we learn how to implement the plan. This one is hard for many of us, because it’s just easier and faster to do it ourselves, right? But . . . I remembered while reading this that when my first son was two, my mom came to get me for something. My son’s toys were scattered all over the place, and I began to put them back into his toy box. My mother made me stop and have him do it. When I said it would just make a long delay, she said “if he’s big enough to take it out of his toy box, he’s big enough to put it back in.” So, we sat there and toy by toy directed him to pick them up and put them away. And it worked, eventually he did it on his own.
One of the important things the author brings up is that often our children think that they DID do the job they were asked to do, and they don’t understand why we say they didn’t, it’s because we haven’t taught them EXACTLY how to do that particular job. So, part of this book deals with actually working alongside the child/children and actually teaching them, step by step what is expected as a finished job.
She has given suggestions for age appropriate tasks, possible schedules, and a variety of ways to actually implement the chore system itself, from cards on clothes pins, in pockets, on magnet sheets, etc, the idea being to have a visible reminder of what is to be done daily, weekly, etc.
Here is a picture of the page I put on each of the kids’ bedroom doors:
Here are current pictures of the boys’ rooms:
On the left is my neat-nick’s room, and on the right is the room shared by his older brothers. Obviously, we still have some work to do on the system!
I do recommend this system for you. It’s easily used as is, but just as easily tweakable to suit your particular family.
The print version of The Everyday Family Chore System is $19.99, the E-BOOK is $15.99. I am glad I have the E-BOOK, because I can just print out anything I need, whenever I need it, instead of having to have something copied from the print version. I have been given permission to pass along to all of my wonderful readers a discount code, which will expire on September 5th. You may purchase one or both books, and then apply the code TOS10books at checkout for a 10% discount. You may use it for print or E-BOOK. Jump on that fast, my friends!
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